The Walls …
I’m like a boxer. Holding my gloves up in front of my face to protect myself from the 1-2 punch that’s coming. I’m looking for the opening to deliver my own right jab to my opponent. My gloves are my protection. My gloves are my walls.
My walls include, fear, anger, disappointment, insecurity, un-forgiveness .. I’ve had them for so many years and I’ve given them to God so many times.
My walls keep me from loving people.
It all points to rejection.
Years and years of childhood spent waiting for the criticism, the insult, the pain, the rejection. Years of putting my arms up in defence. Building walls to protect myself. Shutting people out and finding fault with them before they can hurt me. It’s a habit that has been difficult to break.
I bravely gave these things over to God again today trusting him to be my protection. I asked him just how was he going to protect me? I ask him .. How can you stop people from rejecting me?
He said ..
I can’t stop someone from rejecting you but, if you build your house on the solid rock, when the winds blow and the storms prevail, nothing can tear it down.
That made me smile. Then I said – “Just how does one go about building on the solid rock”? He pointed out to me that building your self-esteem in people, looking to them to be kind, or accepting and holding you up is building on the sand. People are not going to be able to give you something solid. Going to God for your self-esteem and love is the solid rock.
He wants us to be able to withstand the harsh winds of rejection. The stones and arrows of the world are going to come. We need to be solid so those arrows bounce off and then the world can see his light through us.