Do you remember your first encounter with the Holy Spirit? If you haven’t had one yet I suppose that can sound pretty frightening. All I can tell you is that for me, it was the most amazing feeling of pure love I had ever had in my life.
It was during an altar call at my church many, many years ago. I was struggling with some feelings of anger and bitterness. It seems that my way of dealing with hurt was to internalize my feelings. We all get hurt in life. People hurt our feelings every day. I remember as a child getting my feelings hurt a lot. I was the very sensitive creative type. I didn’t let things roll off my back like other kids – or so I thought they did.
My way was to run off to my room or to stuff the feelings. Hurt turns to anger and then bitterness if we are not careful. So, it was many years later, I was an adult by this time, and I had stuffed a lot of hurt – even things from my childhood.
I remember on this day, the pastor at my church was speaking out words of knowledge for the types of healing that the Lord was putting on his heart for the congregation. One of those words was “There is someone here who is struggling with bitterness.” My heart began to pound. I knew it was me. My heart was pounding but it felt like something beyond me was making it pound .. like an urgency or a plodding to propel me to move. I was scared. I didn’t want to go up in front of all those people. It was like being exposed. I didn’t want that. But, the pounding in my heart was pushing me. I knew I needed to respond.
I gathered my courage and went up to the altar. It’s funny cos I felt like everyone would be staring at me, but nobody was even paying attention to me. They didn’t know me or why I was coming up. There were others already coming up for their own healing.
These three wonderful ladies prayed over me after I told them why I had come up. And as they were praying for God to touch me, I could feel that I had some walls up. Walls trying to protect my heart – years and years of it.
After some time had passed they I expressed to the women that nothing was happening. They prayed some more. They stayed with me and prayed until I got a breakthrough… and boy did I ever. It was like a dam broke. I felt this love reaching down to me that was so sweet and so pure. It reminded me of when I was a baby and my mother was holding me. There is no way in my mind that I could have remembered that. I believe that the Lord wanted me to feel that unconditional love like a mother gives to her baby. His love is just that. It’s unconditional. It’s wonderful and it’s so, so sweet!
Fully remixed and mastered album coming soon!
Listen to SWEET LOVE