Breaking Down Walls: My Spiritual Awakening…

Have you ever had a defining moment in your life? A moment where everything changed? I’ve had quite a few, I suppose, over the years. But I’ll never forget the day that the walls of my heart came down during a worship service at church.

My spirituality had always been a very private thing for me. I would talk to God when I was a child, but usually just in my head or in my heart. I grew up in a traditional church with an organ and hymnals. When I got old enough to decide what kind of church I wanted, I chose to go to one that had a full band and contemporary music. This was a first for me.

I loved the music and the freedom that people had during the worship. I loved it but, it also made me feel uncomfortable. I was used to keeping my feelings and spirituality to myself. I didn’t even want to sing out loud. Which is crazy for me being a singer-songwriter right?Actually, I was a bit burned out inside from years of pursuing a music career in a business that held no life for me. I was a bit shut down inside. I wasn’t writing songs that had any meaning either. I thought that pursuing a life in the music business was going to bring me life. It was an endless treadmill of performing and not being what the world wanted. I didn’t know that an abundant life was just around the corner.

On this day in church, the music going, and people all around me freely expressing themselves by raising their hands and singing, made me want to try it too. I wanted to do it too, but I felt uncomfortable. Part of me was a bit embarrassed. I was worried about what others would think of me … so silly. No one was watching me. But more than that, I was holding back a dam full of emotion. Expressing my feelings to strangers was never my strong suit. That’s why I do it through music, I think.

But as I was standing there looking at the words on the screen. I kind of looked around again. Nope. Nobody was watching me.

I looked up at the screen, and there were words on it about the goodness of God. If I’m being honest with myself, I had so many walls up, even ones blocking God, that I was too afraid to trust those words. I had some serious trust issues from past hurts that carried over to God, too.

I took a chance and opened my mouth to sing. As I did this, tears filled my eyes because the words I was singing reverberated in my heart. The dam had burst! The words I was singing were real and true. They were about God and how good he is. It felt so good to say that out loud and to know that it was true. I could trust every word on that screen. He was dependable. He was someone that I could fully open my heart to and never, ever be disappointed or be rejected.

That was the day that the walls of my heart fell down. There have been many, many layers to these walls that have come down over the years. I’ve written so many songs about this too. Songs that are peppered all over all of my CD’s.

It’s been a wonderful journey ever since that day. Going deeper and building a wonderful relationship with God.

This day unlocked the doors that held me back from being a songwriter. Today I love to write music that touches the edges of the life that we can have with God right now!

And the life to come .. for ALL eternity!

There is soooo much abundant life waiting for us all. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from .. or what you have done. I promise God is waiting on the other side with his arms open wide. Take the step to get closer to him. It’s so worth the risk!